Writing an Eulogy & Obituary

Crafting a Eulogy 

Creating and delivering a eulogy is a profound way to honor a departed loved one. Eulogies provide a platform to highlight the distinct qualities of the deceased and celebrate their life.

Duration of a Eulogy 

Condensing a lifetime into a few moments is challenging, yet most eulogies last between 5 to 10 minutes. They should encapsulate the individual’s spirit, their principles, and their lasting impact on the world. Unsure of where to start? Consider including a handful of pivotal stories and memories.

Guidelines for Writing a Meaningful Eulogy 

If you are tasked with delivering a eulogy, it likely means you held a significant relationship with the deceased. Begin by collecting anecdotes from family, friends, and colleagues. Organize these insights and aim to concisely sketch their life while interspersing personal memories that resonate.

Crafting Well-Written Obituaries 

It’s common to find captivating obituaries that leave us wishing we had known the person. These obituaries serve as digital legacies, reflecting a life and era, with some recent entries bringing humor into their remembrances.

The Emerging Trend of Writing Personal Obituaries 

Writing one’s own obituary is becoming increasingly popular, often assigned in college courses. How you choose to document your loved one’s journey is personal. A detailed obituary should not only include basic details but might also encompass:

  • Parents’ names
  • Information on spouse and children
  • Church and community affiliations
  • Career highlights
  • Personal achievements and interests
  • Community impact

Consider the stories and memories that best illustrate your loved one’s character and passions. Include factual details to enrich the narrative, making the obituary memorable.

Finalizing the Obituary 

Before finalizing the obituary, review it thoroughly to ensure accuracy in both facts and language, or have someone else proofread it. If concerned about errors, request a proof from the publication.

Submitting and Checking the Obituary 

Consider submitting the obituary to newspapers in other locations where your loved one had connections. After publication, review the obituary in the newspaper; if there are errors, most newspapers will correct them promptly upon request.

Understanding Obituaries vs. Death Notices 

An obituary offers a detailed narrative of the deceased’s life, while a death notice provides succinct, factual information. Essential details include:

  • Full name and any nicknames
  • Age at death
  • Date and place of birth
  • Surviving relatives
  • Date and location of death
  • Funeral service details

Writing an obituary not only serves immediate family and friends but also records history on a personal level, contributing to society’s collective memory.

Writing an Eulogy & Obituary

 

Eulogies Guide

Best Eulogies Ever Written

Some of the most memorable eulogies ever written have the power to touch hearts universally, transcending the personal connection to the deceased. They often capture the essence, achievements, and unique quirks of the individual, offering both solace and inspiration. From the poignant tribute Maya Angelou wrote for Coretta Scott King to the humor-infused words spoken by Conan O’Brien for his longtime producer, these eulogies are celebrated for their eloquence and emotional depth, becoming a part of the deceased’s lasting legacy.

Short Eulogy Examples

Short eulogies are succinct yet powerful expressions of love and remembrance, often encapsulating the individual’s essence in a few, well-chosen words. For example, a son might remember his father by saying, “My father taught me the importance of integrity and hard work through his everyday actions, living his values in a way that spoke louder than words ever could.” These brief tributes focus on key qualities and meaningful memories, making every word count.

Celebration of Life Eulogy Examples

 Celebration of life eulogies focus on joyfully commemorating the deceased’s happiest moments and what they loved most about life. Such a eulogy might begin with a funny anecdote or a vivid recounting of a favorite family vacation, highlighting the person’s zest for life and love for adventure. This style of eulogy not only celebrates past joys but also encourages those mourning to cherish the beauty in their own lives.

How to Write a Eulogy for a Family Member 

Writing a eulogy for a family member involves a deep exploration of one’s feelings and memories. Start by reflecting on what made that person special, including their hobbies, life lessons they imparted, and the love they shared. Gather stories from other family members to add depth and perspective, and structure these memories into a narrative that speaks to both the heart and the spirit, ensuring the eulogy is a fitting tribute and a personal farewell.

Eulogy Template 

A eulogy template can serve as a helpful guide to structuring your speech. Start with an introduction that expresses your relationship to the deceased, followed by a section highlighting their biography, emphasizing major life events and their personal and professional achievements. Include personal stories and anecdotes that illustrate their character and values, and conclude with a heartfelt farewell that reflects on their impact and expresses your hopes for their legacy.

Eulogy Examples for Mother 

A eulogy for a mother might begin with her role within the family, describing her as the heart of the home. It could include stories of her nurturing nature, her advice during crucial life moments, and her unconditional love. For instance, “My mother was a beacon of guidance and strength, always there with open arms and wise words, teaching us the importance of kindness and resilience.”

Sample Eulogy for Unexpected Death 

A sample eulogy for an unexpected death might address the shock and sorrow of sudden loss, offering a space for collective grief and remembrance. It could highlight the deceased’s virtues, their dreams, and the joy they brought into the world, emphasizing the meaningful, albeit brief, time they shared with others. This type of eulogy might also provide comfort by acknowledging the profound impact of their life on everyone they touched.

Eulogy vs Obituary 

While both eulogies and obituaries serve to honor the deceased, they differ significantly in format and function. A eulogy is a speech given during a funeral or memorial service that offers a personal reflection on the life and character of the deceased, often filled with anecdotes and personal memories. An obituary, on the other hand, is a written notice of death, typically published in newspapers or online, summarizing the person’s life, family details, and information about the funeral service, focusing more on factual recount rather than personal sentiment.

 

FAQ

How does an eulogy differ from an obituary?

An eulogy is a speech delivered during a funeral or memorial service that offers personal reflections, stories, and memories of the deceased, aiming to honor and celebrate their life. It is generally emotional and anecdotal. An obituary, however, is a formal notice of someone’s death, including details about their life such as their family, career, and achievements, as well as information about the funeral service. Obituaries are typically written in a more factual and concise manner for publication in newspapers or online.

What not to do when writing a eulogy?

When writing a eulogy, avoid focusing on yourself too much; the spotlight should remain on the deceased. It’s also advisable to steer clear of any inappropriate stories or comments that might offend attendees. Avoid under-preparing which can lead to a disjointed or overly rambling speech, and try not to overlook mentioning important family members or aspects of the deceased’s life that were significant.

Are there rules to a eulogy?

There are no strict rules to writing a eulogy, but there are best practices to follow such as keeping the speech respectful and appropriate, focusing on the positive aspects of the deceased’s life, and including personal stories and memories that highlight the individual’s character and achievements. Keeping the eulogy concise, typically between 5 to 10 minutes, is also recommended.

What to avoid when writing an obituary?

When writing an obituary, avoid including overly personal or sensitive information that the family may not wish to disclose publicly, such as the exact cause of death if it is private. It’s also important to avoid factual errors; always double-check details like the spelling of names, dates, and locations. Steer clear of using vague language or clichés, and strive for clarity and respectfulness.

What makes a bad eulogy?

A bad eulogy can result from failing to adequately prepare, which can lead to an incoherent or off-topic speech. Other pitfalls include using inappropriate humor, being overly negative or critical of the deceased, or ignoring the feelings of the audience, such as bringing up topics that are overly contentious or painful.

How not to cry giving a eulogy?

While it’s completely acceptable to show emotion while giving a eulogy, if you wish to maintain composure, practice your speech multiple times to become accustomed to the emotional weight of your words. Take deep breaths before and during the speech, and pause if you feel overwhelmed. Some find it helpful to focus on a spot at the back of the room or to carry a handkerchief or tissues. Remember, it’s okay to show emotion, and it can even be cathartic for both you and the audience.

 

Last modified: November 17, 2024
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